Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
