She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
