oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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