sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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