her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
