Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
