if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
