dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
