after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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