Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
