Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
