Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there's paper in my vomit.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize