I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
