Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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