what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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