Will you blow on my dice?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
