In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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