he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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