why didn't you poke me back
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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