Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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