..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
