And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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