Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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