Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
