I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
