After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
