P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
