Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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