just tell him i said nine months
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
