doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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