Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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