the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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