I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
