im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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