I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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