you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
