When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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