Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
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So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
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THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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