I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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