we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You have to summon your inner elephant
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
