well I can't set my house on fire every night
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize