You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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