Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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