He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
