Don't you send me to vm
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
