I must be too annoying 4 u.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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