This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
