Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
