Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
