For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
