i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
