Nicole vs. Life
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
