You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
