Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize