My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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