All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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